Am I really about to say this?

I miss running.

I can’t believe I said that.

Fell off a horse a few weeks ago and badly bruised my tailbone/lower back; it’s taking quite a long time to heal. For the first few days it was agony because there was a lot of muscle shock too (apparently when you land on your bum like that all the force of the fall travels up through your body and out of your head, leading to some very unpleasant whiplash-like feelings in my neck and torso). Doctor said I’d done a good bit of soft tissue damage; I was walking round like an elderly woman. There was enormous swelling and the bruise was spectacular. It was black and vivid purple across a rather large portion of my back and hip. Even now it’s still pretty gruesome, though much improved. Now I can at least move around reasonably comfortably and can sit properly, but I still get uncomfortable after walking for more than ten minutes or so. For that reason running is off the cards until I’m fully healed.

But waaaaah! The weight is creeping on, I can see it in my face, and I feel slovenly and unenergised. Given that my natural state is couch potato I don’t understand what’s happening to me. It’s not like running is a highlight activity, I do it pretty much as a chore. So why do I miss it? I am not supposed to be a person who misses physical exertion God damn it!!! lol

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